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  1. #1
    Mysterious Penguin sloppychachi's Avatar
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    Equus Escape Plan

    No cable... NO FRIGGIN CABLE! What kind of terrorist hell hole do they have you locked up in? How can they not have cable? What is this, 1973?

    We are coming tonight. I spoke with JPM, MW, MEG, Rails, JimC, and Connie... here is the plan, JimC will provide a diagram later:

    At 8:05 PM EST, Connie will be in the main lobby dressed in a full clown suit juggling. As he begins to make more and more of a nuisance of himself, the guards will start to become distracted. We will slip JPM and MW in the front door posing as Dr. Leo Rashmulter and patient Felicity T. Barnswallow. They will take the elevator to your floor (remind me again, you are in the hospital due to massive hemorrhoids, correct?). As soon as they reach your room, MW(World famous gynecologist to the stars) will dope you up with 1000 mg of Estrogen. Don't ask, we couldn't get morphine in such short notice. Plus, your voice is a little too low and you are not that shiny.

    JPM will change into hospital janitor clothes and sneak out the back, taking the Charge Nurse Helga Stifudenglazen down so she can't stop us. On a side note, I am worried that JPM might fall for Helga but I can not worry about that now.

    JimC will pull a Mission Impossible down the side of the building,entering your room. He will construct an elaborate Equus mock up, including the new wifi tower out of the back of your head. Hopefully, the faux-Equus will fool anyway who checks in on you. The good thing is that he will smell like butter-nut squash, just like you do!

    Please note that due to the time constraints, JimC was only able to give FEQUUS 3 cell phones and the abilty to provide support on Windows Mobile 2002 devices. I know, JimC is getting lazy in his old age but he was up late watching baseball again!

    JimC will then proceed downstairs explaining that Sugar Connie is his sick, mentally deranged cousin who believes he is a part-time fry-cook/circus clown. Jim will negotiate with the guards and move Connie to the van in the parking lot. Connie will begin to photograph JPM leaving the hospital through the Service Exit (if we need to nail someone in court, we voted to take JPM down. He is young and looks guilty!)

    At this time, MW will push you out of the hospital into the van that JPM is now driving. JimC and Connie will get into the passenger side. We will leave the hospital at 8:23 PM.

    Railing and I, dressed as Candy Stripers will enter the nurse's dressing room at about 8:01. We will find our own way home.

    I do want to note that MEG wanted to join us but he got into an argument with MRailing today and has spent the last 14 hours trying to search for Hospital Escape Plans and the i730.
    Last edited by sloppychachi; 10-16-2005 at 07:24 AM.
    Here..maybe... do you smell something fishy?

  2. #2
    Registered User equus's Avatar
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    By, George SC this is the best plan that you have come up with. I like it. What's with the "smelly" stuff. NO.......NO.......I am not here because of you know what............man oh man.......MEG gets into an argument?........geez, people can you all wait till you get me out first..........I LOVE THIS plan............ok fellas let the clock start.........

    The Clown.......connie...........OMG I have to stop laughing..my head hurts..........
    oooh wait we have to get Marctronixx involved in this.remember he handles all the cameras for the big TV company, we can have him set up a mock TV crew there and tell them they are there because Celine Dion is coming there and that will be a good distraction..........what do you think about that? bad plan or do-able?
    Funny it worked.....the last time! Now I am not sure what was working before they put a hole in my head !

  3. #3
    Mysterious Penguin sloppychachi's Avatar
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    People love Celine Dion... tell him to meet us at the 7-11 on Main Street at 6:30 PM!
    Here..maybe... do you smell something fishy?

  4. #4
    MEG
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    Actually, in my excitement to execute SC's plan, I stubbed my toe and fell down the "bat pole" (two stories) while trying to put on my super hero mask. SC was trying to spare me any further public indignity by coming up with a more "plausable" excuse.

    I thought Marco had video dialed in and was watching Equus as we speak. TAKE YOU FINGER OUT OF YOUR NOSE!!

    YOUR ON TV! For cryin' out loud!



    Mark

  5. #5
    Fisher of Men mwfielder's Avatar
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    As I was injecting the estrogen (actually I had to double the dose--apparently equus is used to some levels of estrogen....), I hit the "cheapo-wired-to-the-bed-remote" and the cable worked fine. Apparently, equus was trying to use a BT-Wifi remote controller program that is supposed to integrate with his newly installed equiptment. Speaking to his neurosurgeon, Dr. RosenRosen, his antenna was installed with M$ powered components. Billy Gates heard that equus uses Mozilla, so the program then reroutes the signal to his bowels. So try to put on ESPN......calling for a bedpan. Maybe we can get superdave to hack the system for us....
    Jeremiah 29:11

  6. #6
    Registered User equus's Avatar
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    What happened to you guys?.........I was waiting at 8:05PM and no body showed?...........geez, come on guys............what the heck happened? Doc is fooling around with some cable TV show and is more fascinated with the bed pan stuff.............man, do I have to blow up this joint to get out? I hate to be a terrorist and all but dang I bet that cult group from Japan would have got me out of here faster than my esteemed PDASWAT team............ this weird surgeon wants to crack open my skull again cause something about his stylus from his Ipaq fell off while he was working on my brain..........these damn loose stylii is getting to be a major problem.............SD's hack might be the only way for my escape from here...........
    Funny it worked.....the last time! Now I am not sure what was working before they put a hole in my head !

  7. #7
    Fisher of Men mwfielder's Avatar
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    Oh shoot....equus is still there....then who did we grab? Jimmy Hoffa? Shackrat?

    Gonna have to review that film from Marctronixx....
    Jeremiah 29:11

  8. #8
    Registered User equus's Avatar
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    Must have grabbed that old lady, man she has a foul mouth.watch it she also has a mean upper right hook...........this is funny, you guys grab an old lady and run.............this is not good........all that fine covert training and this is all you guys can show.what a pathetic group.oh well I guess I have to stay here for another week and get out myself........thanks anyway fellas.........still proud of you.......be back on the road soon.....
    Funny it worked.....the last time! Now I am not sure what was working before they put a hole in my head !

  9. #9
    Registered User jpmihalk's Avatar
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    Darn it, I must have followed the other candystripers! They were hot!

    ROFL!!!
    John

  10. #10
    Registered User equus's Avatar
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    Originally posted by jpmihalk
    Darn it, I must have followed the other candystripers! They were hot!

    ROFL!!!
    oh geez, thanks a lot JPM............
    Funny it worked.....the last time! Now I am not sure what was working before they put a hole in my head !

  11. #11
    Editor and Site Administrator Convergent's Avatar
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    Originally posted by equus
    What happened to you guys?.........I was waiting at 8:05PM and no body showed?...........geez, come on guys............what the heck happened? Doc is fooling around with some cable TV show and is more fascinated with the bed pan stuff.............man, do I have to blow up this joint to get out? I hate to be a terrorist and all but dang I bet that cult group from Japan would have got me out of here faster than my esteemed PDASWAT team............ this weird surgeon wants to crack open my skull again cause something about his stylus from his Ipaq fell off while he was working on my brain..........these damn loose stylii is getting to be a major problem.............SD's hack might be the only way for my escape from here...........
    Oops... sorry, guys. I dropped the ball. The big flaw in SC's plan was that I don't know how to juggle. When I started to try juggling in the lobby, they thought I was just trying to throw balls at people. Being an overachiever, I hadn't just brought balls to juggle... I was juggling grenades, running chainsaws, and cannisters of toxic waste. After I hit four waiting patients with this stuff and created additional work for the ER staff, they called the police. Within a few minutes I was carted off to some police station in a not so nice part of town. I would tell you more about that, but then there was that incident with this dude that talked about clown dreams and power tools... fortunately I was able to escape when a bunch of roudy clowns from Ringling Brothers were getting bailed out. Fortunately, I had the forethought to have a fake ID created that ties all of this back to JPM. I was able to use the PPH cookie that resides on his PDA to access his confidential data. Being a photographer, I was even able to download a small virus to his PDA which snapped a couple of secret pictures with his PDA camera and then uploaded them to my server... so the fake ID think was a snap. The worst part was trying to hitch hike back to NY in a clown suit. You'd be surprised what kind of weirdos are out there.

    Seriously... I have never read something so funny as the initial post here... and more seriously... Equus... glad gears are rotating in your head again.
    Mike - Been Converged?

  12. #12
    Registered User jpmihalk's Avatar
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    It figures... it was my fault... no wonder my hw6515 has been acting like it has a mind of its own.

    Yes, equus... glad you are rotating and radiating again!
    John

  13. #13
    DroidX>Omnia>i760/30>00>ipaq+nokia JimCapraro's Avatar
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    ooooh . . . . butter nut squash . . . how did you know I've got at "thing" for butter nut squash!! I'm feeling woozy!!
    The only constant is change.

  14. #14
    DroidX>Omnia>i760/30>00>ipaq+nokia JimCapraro's Avatar
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    Sorry I didnt weigh in sooner, I didn't see this post til now -- I've been in Cleveland since yesterday morning on a pretty grueling consulting gig. And as SC said I was up way to late on Sunday watching baseball. I'd have a more graphical reply but I'm only using my i730 on this trip.

    Equus, you old potato hauling extinct horse -- I think you are typing faster!! Glad to see you are seeming stronger!!

    Oh yeah, AND, go, go, white sox!!
    The only constant is change.

  15. #15
    Mysterious Penguin sloppychachi's Avatar
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    Connie - I am so sorry about your fingers. I mean, who knew that you had no idea how to juggle and chainsaws are a little advanced. However, you can always try typing with just your pinkies.

    JPM - get your act together for once! I am sick and tired of the excuses. We would have rescued Equus if it wasn't for you.

    JimC - I think your Sox are going all the way!
    Here..maybe... do you smell something fishy?

  16. #16
    Editor and Site Administrator Convergent's Avatar
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    SC, ironically I lost the tip of one of my fingers when it went between the chain and front sprocket of a motorcycle I was riding at the time. This was when I was 17 and trying to show off for a girl on my dirt bike. I did something stupid and my finger was history. I don't recommend this approach to winning over young ladies.
    Mike - Been Converged?

  17. #17
    Registered User jpmihalk's Avatar
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    Sorry, SC... it's always me.... but I didn't know that I was your alibi!!!! Honest!!!!
    John

  18. #18
    DroidX>Omnia>i760/30>00>ipaq+nokia JimCapraro's Avatar
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    Originally posted by sloppychachi

    JimC - I think your Sox are going all the way!
    I hope the you are the God of baseball disguised as a penguin
    The only constant is change.

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